I Am Anxious... Frederick Joseph
The New York Times bestselling author discusses anxiety, bullying, and finding calm and self-care in writing and working out.
Frederick Joseph is a Westchester raised two-time New York Times bestselling author, and a “genius across genres.” His books include a poetry collection, We Alive, Beloved, two books of nonfiction, Patriarchy Blues, and The Black Friend, a collaboration, Better Than We Found It, and a children’s book, The Courage to Dream: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.
Joseph’s books have been named an Amazon Editors’ Pick, notable by the International Literacy Association, Best Children’s Book of the Year by Bank Street College, a Cooperative Children’s Book Center Choice selection, Booklist Editors’ Choice, and more. He has written for The Boston Globe, Essence, Huffington Post, AdWeek, and Cosmopolitan, and won both the Letter Review Poetry prize and a Letter Review Essay prize.
His most recent writing on politics and culture can be found on his Substack. He lives with his wife Porsche and dog Stokely in New York City.
You can find him on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Substack, and on his website.
How long have you been an anxious person?
I've struggled with anxiety since I was in elementary school, where relentless bullying took a toll on me. This anxiety only deepened as I navigated the challenges of being Black in the corporate world, where the pressures and systemic biases exacerbated my struggles.
What is your earliest memory of being anxious?
My earliest memory of being anxious dates back to middle school. I remember cutting school to avoid the cruel taunts of other kids. Those moments of solitude, hiding from the world, marked the beginning of my mental health journey. It was a time when fear and insecurity took hold, shaping my path in profound ways.
Have you ever experienced a panic attack?
I've experienced panic attacks most of my adult life, but they became truly debilitating when I first developed a large social media presence. The attacks I've faced felt like being a bullied child all over again, as people’s harsh words and criticisms overwhelmed me, triggering intense fear and anxiety.
What are some of your anxiety triggers? What makes you most anxious?
As a Black man with a keen awareness of racism and microaggressions, these are my primary anxiety triggers. The constant need to navigate and respond to subtle yet pervasive forms of discrimination can be overwhelming. These experiences not only affect my sense of security but also stir deep-rooted anxieties about my safety and place in society.
How do you feel physically and emotionally when you’re anxious?
When I'm anxious, it feels like my entire world is falling apart. My chest tightens, and it becomes hard to breathe. My mind races, and I struggle to focus on anything but the overwhelming fear and dread.
It's like existing in a storm where everything feels uncertain and out of control.
What do you do when you feel anxious? How do you take care of yourself in those situations? Do you have any anxiety management tips or tricks?
When I feel anxious, I take a moment to breathe deeply and center myself. I find peace in grounding exercises, focusing on the present moment to regain my sense of calm. Sometimes, I turn to music as a distraction, letting the sounds carry me away from my worries. It’s about finding that balance.
How do you feel your anxiety affects your family, friends, and overall social life?
My anxiety affects me less than it used to. There was a time when I would refuse to go places, avoid talking to people, hide out in my room, or even skip school. Though I've made progress, there are still moments when I find myself alienating others and working to get away from everyone. It's an ongoing journey, but I'm grateful for the improvements I've made.
When you're not feeling anxious (simply in your day-to-day life), what do you do for self care?
When I'm not feeling anxious, I find calm and self-care in my writing and working out. Writing allows me to express my thoughts and emotions, creating a sense of calm and clarity. Working out helps me feel strong and centered, providing a release and a sense of accomplishment. These activities are my soft place, helping me maintain balance and well-being.
How do you feel about the portrayal of mental health and anxiety in Pop Culture (books, movies, music, etc)? Do you feel it's accurate?
I feel that the portrayal of mental health and anxiety in pop culture often lacks the nuance it deserves. While there are some accurate depictions, many stories miss how mental health intersects with daily life and experiences like sex, race, class, and age. This complexity is something I'm passionate about addressing in one of my forthcoming young adult novels.
What are some of your favorite examples of Pop Culture that gets anxiety and mental health right?
One of my favorite portrayals of nuanced mental health is the film Moonlight. It captures the complexities of identity, trauma, and the struggle for self-acceptance with such tenderness and honesty. It's a hauntingly beautiful exploration of a young man's journey through pain and discovery, and it should resonate with anyone who has ever felt lost or misunderstood.
What is the best advice you've ever received?
The best advice I've ever received is that everything around us is just made up. It's a reminder that the limitations, the rules, and even the expectations are all constructs of our minds and society. This perspective has freed me to dream bigger, to question the status quo, and to create my own path in life.
Editor’s Note: This interview was edited slightly for length and clarity.
Thank you so much, Frederick!
You can grab a copy of We Alive, Beloved: Poems everywhere right now. I highly recommend it, as I do all of Frederick’s books. Patriarchy Blues is a personal favorite and a book I consider a must read.
If you are interested in being a part of the newsletter in the coming weeks and taking the I Am Anxious… questionnaire, please email me (scott.neumyer@gmail.com) and I’ll get you on the list. I’d love to have you!
Be well and keep talking.
DISCLAIMER: I am, by no means, a medical profession. If you need help, please seek qualified medical attention. This newsletter, while informative and fun, is no substitute for the real thing.
Thank you, Scott, for this vulnerable interview with Frederick. I have been following Frederick for a bit, reading his substack and his haunting new book We Alive, Beloved. Frederick is wise, brave and a gorgeous writer. I have wondered how he feels about the reactions he gets to his writing, particularly on substack. I can understand and relate to the kind of anxiety he describes, being a survivor myself. His dedication to his writing as self-care is a profoundly helpful reminder.